Today marks the second anniversary of the darkest TV hour ever for me.
Nicholas Brody died on December 15, 2013 on our screens.
This blog owes a million thanks to this flawed hero. Well… I was this “normal” woman attending to my own thing… until Nicholas Brody came along unexpectedly and turned everything upside down… No, it was not love at first sight with him. Brody grew on me. And, lo and behold, he became my all-time favorite fictional character thanks to Damian Lewis’ fantastic portrayal of this broken man — it is Brody who made me a Damian Lewis fan for life and a blogger, too!
Interestingly, I only loved one other fictional character this much in my life: Sydney Carton in A Tale of Two Cities. It’s fascinating that somehow I am attracted most to characters whose beginnings are sad and whose endings are even sadder.
It’s been two years and I MISS Brody. But as much as I am missing him, I also can’t wait for Damian Lewis’ highly anticipated return to Showtime in Billions in five short weeks! I just know Bobby Axelrod will arrive and ease the pain on January 17 at 10pm — hey it’s a date, Bobby!
But today is Brody Day! And, as a loving tribute to my all-time favorite fictional character, here is my story of that dark day in our household:
I dreaded that day coming for months. Because, I knew it… I didn’t really know it, but I saw it coming, and I told everybody but nobody believed me! My friends said: “Oh, no, they will never kill Brody!” And, in particular, Lewisto, my husband, said: “They will never kill the chicken that lays the golden egg. It would be very stupid.” And one of my lovely old friends promised me: “If they kill Brody, we will make a video clip as a tribute.” And, as the critics rolled the drums louder and louder saying Brody should have been dead long ago, we just repeated the conversations above!
By now, it seems everyone in this world, including Damian Lewis himself, who saw and laughed at my iPhone cover….
…knows about me and Brody! He is my favorite fictional character ever… and I really MISS him. But yeah… let’s go back to that very dark day.
December 14, 2013: The day before the season III finale. Me, being me, I am on the internet surfing desperately to find some clue that would tell me that, no, Brody will make it alive out of Iran. And, I find out that the season finale leaked to the internet. Oh My God! I look at some forums, and there I see it… people openly talking about that horrific scene that I have still NOT seen to this day… My heart is BROKEN a day before it is supposed to be.
December 15, 2013: We always make Homeland evenings special at home. My husband cooks a yummy three-course menu for our special TV night, and I am always a good eater. The evening Brody died goes into history as the only evening in long years of marriage and many TV nights that I skip the second serving of my favorite pasta and skip dessert altogether.
We start with Episode 11 which ends with the great lines “Brody, what did you do?” “Carrie, I killed him. Get me out of here.” so that I could just re-live some glorious Brody moments before I say good-bye to him.
Then the season finale is finally on the screen… I suddenly remember a moment from 1980s… my mom and I are watching Love Story with Ali McGraw and Ryan O’Neal, it’s my first time and her Nth time, and she starts crying the minute the movie starts, and I laugh at her. I guess that laugh is now coming back to haunt me years later on the evening Brody dies… Because I start crying the minute the last episode starts… as Brody gets himself out of the building, and meets Carrie, they are on their way to the safe house… Nothing bad is happening, and I am crying… Mom, I understand you now.
Then I cry a bit harder during the safe house scene. That scene is powerful in the sense that Brody and Carrie are having an adult conversation like a normal couple in their living room. It gets me… I really want them to be together, and be happy… Yes, yes, I know, I know, “it’s not a love story, it’s a CIA show” mom, but I can’t help it, I love the love story in the CIA show… I, in fact, love the possibility of this impossible love…
Then I completely lose it during that last conversation.
Brody: “Carrie. It’s over.”
Carrie: “No.”
Brody: “Yeah. Not even the almighty Saul can stop it now.”
Carrie: “No, you don’t know that.”
Brody: “You’re wasting your time. Holding on to false hopes won’t help anyone. I want it to be over.”
…
Brody: “I have to say good-bye now.”
Carrie: “Brody… Brody… Can you stay here just for a few more seconds?”
Brody: [Heavy breathing and hangs up the phone…]
When the guards bring Brody to the noose, I run to the bathroom… and do not come back until my husband calls me: “It is over. You can come.” So, there is a few minutes of Homeland that I have not seen and I will never see. Ever.
My husband tells me I cried more than Carrie, and tells everyone else how I skipped my second serving of pasta and my dessert!
I am the joke of the year, but who cares?
Almost a week after Brody died, I sat down and wrote an essay to get the grief out of my system. It’s pretty raw and emotional. It is here. Just so you know I am at a much better place now 🙂
And, remember that lovely friend of mine who promised that we would make a Brody clip together as a tribute? We did that in February! I am really proud of how it turned out in terms of music and scenes that I would love everyone to see it! And we have “Brody… Brody… Can you stay here just for a few more seconds?” as the last scene… that gets me… every single time. So… can you stay here for a few more seconds and watch our love letter to our favorite star-crossed lovers?
Thank you! 🙂
I could not hear one word of it, so why was I crying at the end of this piece?
Great Tribute, still crying.
Cindee
You’re braver than I am to have watched any of it. Once I heard what happened, I could never watch that episode. Still haven’t. When the show lost Brody, they lost me.
“I’ll go with you,
and I’ll do anything you ask of me
except one thing.
I won’t watch you die. ”
That’s a line from Butch Cassidy that stays in my head whenever I read about this episode.
I take special pleasure in the clips from Billions. Even though it’s a drama, not a comedy, there seems to be plenty of humor evident. After the brutality of Homeland, that’s a welcome relief.
Wow. I salute you. I think I was still curious about if there would be some private conversation between Carrie and Brody and in particular if he will find out about the baby. I watched Season 4, and with the story completely reset, it was a good season. But I am completely with you in the sense that I didn’t care anymore what happened… Brody was THE SHOW for me, too! And, hh, yes, we on the blog welcome this brilliant use of humor as well. We just had a conversation about that among us yesterday. Damian has this capacity for being effortlessly funny, and I am sure he will add to humor in Billions BIG TIME — can’t wait!
Well-stated, Damianista. “Effortlessly funny” is that magical combination of understated lines (from excellent writers in LIFE and BILLIONS) delivered with crafty restraint by the superb Damian Lewis as Charlie Crews (“I’m Zen-ish”?) and Bobby Axelrod (from what we see in previews – “off my Christmas list”? “Who’s more low-key than me?”). Damian’s funny is never over the top with raised voice or excess of facial expression. He creates with restraint.
Thank you, Lynda! I just LOVE this: “He creates with restraint.” I believe I will use it some day with a proper thanks to a great fan! <3
everything you write is what I feel!
Hated, Alex Gansas, of wanting the death Brody, for me, Homeland, was, above all, a beautiful love story between two people torn, and he says he has the talent, he could regale us with some beautiful episodes!
I saw the death of Brody, I have many, many cried!
In my head, I had to tell me, “No, this is not Damian, he is alive,” don’t console myself! Brody is dead! I have not watched the season 4, or 5, no interest
! I watched several times the series, but not the death of BRODY, too awful!
The character of Brody, ist so beautiful, and Damian is so stunning
I hate seeing Damian die, luckily he died in Colditz, and Homeland, two different, but so fascinating characters
Good news is Damian is alive and well but we just LOVED that broken man he brought to life that we are still missing a fictional character! Honestly, I had never seen anything like Brody before on TV. We’re living in the golden age of TV and I love many different characters on different shows, but the subtlety Damian brings to the role — THAT I had never seen before. Yeah, both Nicholases had similar endings. Connie made a great comment on our Facebook page saying he should not play a character called Nicholas again, so we know he will not die 🙂 Thank God he’s not Nicholas Axelrod in Billions!!!! Bobby is a great name 🙂 Much love, Monique, thanks as always for reading and for your feedback!
I feel the same as you, I felt lost without Brody. I really never had much to attach myself to a fictional character. I fell in love Brody literally …
Homeland continues without Brody secretly …. I hope he will return one day to the tv …. everything is possible !!
Much Love
Sandrine
I would love to come back in the last episode of the entire series: “Hello, Carrie!” and Homeland ends there… Hehe.
Remember we never saw a dead body – maybe Javadi kept Brody alive for strategic purposes 🙂 That’s my fantasy!
Much Love <3
this week I wanted to watch season 3, completely!
I have not wanted to look at his death, but my husband said “a little courage, you know that it is only cinema”
Okay, but it’s so well interpreted, as for me, this is not cinema, but I wanted to watch this horrible scene, and I cried,I cried!!!!
But even at the end of that rope, Damian is beautiful, his look, seeks and finds Carry, and he died, looking at her, and hearing her voice shouting “Brody, Brody”,and I cried a lot
I know it’s only cinema, but getting into these characters’ world, it doesn’t feel like cinema, it feels so real — I still have not been able to watch that horrible scene and I still cannot imagine seeing it! I cried buckets without seeing it — go figure! 🙂 Oh we will carry Brody in our hearts forever! Happy New Year, Monique; and thanks so much for visiting and reading us – it means a lot!
After watching Seasons 1-3 (I’m Now on S-5), I had to come back to this piece, now that I REALLY understand it. Even though I didn’t want to watch, I kept the Blu-Ray on and I’m really sorry that I did. I keep seeing the very last part (and I don’t want to be graphic) over and over again in my mind. Soon it will be 2 weeks since I saw it and I’m still not over it.
I know that Damian Lewis is still alive and well (Love him to pieces!!), but the pain is still there.
I have never known a character that I have felt such intense feelings for and I know that this due to his amazing acting abilities. How could I feel so heartbroken over a fictional person?
I hope that there will be 3rd and a 4th Anniversary of his death. For me Nick Brody is as real as anyone, and I’m so glad that I am not the only who feels this way. Up until a month ago, I had no idea who Brody was (can you imagine!!!). The more I read here, the more I realized that I could not be fan without knowing such a popular figure. Boy am I glad I did get the Blu-Rays!!
Even though I now get Homeland streamed into my own TV, I just HAVE to have the hardcopies for my collection. Brody is just too special not to have forever.
When I am completely caught up on Homeland I will move on to Billions and fall in love with Bobby Axelrod, BUT, I WILL ALWAYS MISS BRODY!!
Cindee! I know!!!!! There is no question we will always carry Brody in our hearts… and move on to Bobby! 🙂
Damian is giving us such a flawed character that I know the feelings you have for him are very intense. You just want to cuddle him and tell him that everything will be alright. I am so happy you got to meet Brody and our feelings for him are exactly the same!
Much much love!
Cindee, may I suggest a story to you written by our very own Missfit. It isn’t finished yet, but currently has 185 chapters to enjoy. It takes place between S2 and 3 so Brody is still alive. it is here https://fanfiction.net/s/8902744/1/Suddenly
Brody is a wonderful character and we all miss him too.
Claire Danes just wrapped an eight-season run on “Homeland” with her character, Carrie Mathison, seeming in the end to have betrayed her nation — only to reveal a twist in the series’ final moments. It’s a character turn rooted in her deep history with late love Brody, played by Damian Lewis.
I loved the shape of the final season and, personally speaking, how Carrie was aligned with Brody. She’s been attached to you from the beginning, to Brody, and that was another way to recognize that.
The delicious thing about Carrie was that all the time, her intuitions were so strong, but she had to struggle with self-doubt because of her illness. I was always having to doubt.
The challenge was to do the impossible – to create some sense of resolve and to stay true to our tone, and also to give people a sense that the central characters were not destroyed or ruined. It was subversive to give a minimum of hope in the end.
For five seasons, the British actor has brought moral ambiguity and brash likability to “Billions” as hedge-fund mogul Bobby “Axe” Axelrod.